I have an idea for a new reality show; it’ll be called “How Hard Could It Be?” The show will feature everyday people approaching straightforward (but new to them) tasks, for instance, minor home repairs.
For instance, in the kickoff show, a software developer will be faced with filling a gap introduced in his front porch when a professional replaced an exterior door.
To make it more interesting, we’ll have the work done on the highly-visible front porch, and we’ll have the man’s wife be pregnant to ensure a steady flow of family and friends visiting over the next few months.
The show will start with the man rubbing his chin and looking at the gap. “I know”, he’ll say, “I can fill this with concrete. I mean, ‘How hard could it be?'”
We’ll follow our character as he researches by watching assorted videos on the Internet, wherein a wide variety of workaday joes install concrete successfully in a wide variety of projects.
Confirming the ease of his project, he’ll drive over to the local home depot, grab an 80lb bag of concrete, a few stirs, a 5 gallon bucket, and some red concrete dye. That’s right, dye. The dye serves two purposes: One– to attempt to match the final result to the nearby brick and other décor. Two– so that the viewers at home (and any passers-by) can easily see all of the unintended places that the concrete ends up. To up the ante a bit, this project will begin late on Sunday morning (ensuring that only one day can be spared for the work) and we’ll film on a May day in Austin with afternoon temperatures in the mid-90s.
Reading the bag of concrete mix, he’ll scoff as he reads “Do not let concrete dry in your hair” and feel confident that this project is going to be trivial: “How hard could it be, if the package needs to warn the typical user of such things.”
As the afternoon proceeds, we’ll watch our hapless hero increasingly drenched in sweat, as he learns valuable lessons like: ‘Why you don’t want to pour concrete mix without a facemask’, and ‘Why do professionals mix concrete in wheelbarrows instead of buckets.’ A counter on the screen will track the skyrocketing obscenity count as the afternoon proceeds toward dusk.
The show will end with our red-tinted grimy hero and his very-pregnant wife on the porch looking forlornly at the final lumpy, off-color result.
She’ll look on the bright side. “It won’t look so bad after we cover it with the welcome mat.”